Its 3:40 am . . .and I've just finished watching. . BEFORE SUNRISE. . .the most beautiful movie I've ever seen. . .no. .well.it would be wrong to say it was just a movie. . it wos definitely more than that. . .it wos an experience. .
am feeling a sudden burst of emotions. . i guess somewhere deep down in the core of my heart. . .there is nothing in this entire world that i live for more than the thought of love. . loving some one irrevocably. . unconditionally. . .magically. . truly. . nd getting those feelings reciprocated. . feeling that warmth . .feeling that magic when you look in the eyes of the person you love. . when you look in the eyes of your soul mate.
normally, people my age. . would worry about their exams. . would worry about their college. . about their job's. . about getting through in their field. . but me. . its not the same with me. . its altogether very different for me. . i sort of live in my dream world. . i sometimes just want to elope far away from the realities if this time. . .i wanna live life like its a mystery. . i wanna unravel it. . walk through the deepest woods. . .fall from the highest mountains. . i wanna just sit at the beach. . nd hold the sand. . in the palm of my hand/ / /i wanna lie on the green grass. . and stare at the wild blue never ending sky. . .
i wanna be with one. . .who really matters. . and without him nothing else seems to be real. . .i wanna unleash the power of emotions trapped within me. .
i wanna live freely. . love magically. . .my soul is not a usual person's soul. .
i know i am different. . .because for me the only thing that matters in life. . are things that i can feel. . .rest everything would burn to ashes. . .
i wanna unleash this bird within me. .
BEFORE SUNRISE. . .is an exceptional movie. . a story about two people who accidentally meet. . .that you may call a serendipity. . and then find themselves entirely consumed with the other's presence. . .a movie just about their conversations. . .may seem simple. . but the talks. . the gestures. . the eyes, , they tell you the depth of the entire thing. . .it never felt like they were acting. . it seemed a real fiction . .so to say. .
i am definitely enthralled by the movie. . .and i wish to see the second part. . .BEFORE SUNSET soon. .
For now. I've gone into my own sweet shell of thinking. . .am away from this world. . nd i know i wud take time to come back. .
i have to go to school tomorrow. . .last year at it. . .i know i should relish the moments. . i do. . .but they just don't seem to have that kind of depth in them. . the school days. . every body . . and every circumstance . . seems so shallow. . it never speaks to my heart. . .
nd am tone deaf to things which don't speak to my heart. . although i pretend i hear it all. . but pretending is easy. . for no one comes to know it. . .coz they've never imagined the never herd tones of heart. . .
At times like these. . my heart speaks straight to me. . .not thinking like rational adults. . .it does at it would to a little child. . nd i feel so sure. . i wanna paint the world with my words. . that i want to be a writer. . i have a writer's soul. . but then practicality is thrust on me. . and i feel confused again . . and then i realise i may be in the wrong field now. . but I'll have to struggle a lot harder to get to my right path. . but the struggle sometimes feels to be of some one else's. . i feel sometimes its not m
ine. nor do i feel anything inside. . an empty feeling engulfs. .
but at moments like these. . i feel sparked by my heart's flame. . and now. . i feel so sure. . .that i would be a writer. . i would be a wanderer. . i would an adventurer. . i would be a lover!
* sigh. . and there, , i guess I've written my first true blog. . none commercial writing, , just thoughts straight from my heart.
PS-Its 4:00 am. .